Figments of Cindy's Imagination...

Creative Space...How to fit it all in???

2011-11-21T11:08:00.000-08:00

I went from living in a house that I had my own 12' x 11' room to have my creative space/studio to living in a small NYC apartment. Now...I must try and fit all the stuff into my space that I have carved out of my bedroom. I feel lucky that I still have about a 5' x 11' space with which I am working with. But how do I cram in everything I had??? I don't, I have had to decide what my favorite things are... I love this hand and I really wanted to use it but didn't know how I was going to but then I came up with this solution. I love the look of it and it keeps my paints handy. No pun intended. LOL

Then there were my 500 pencils that I had sitting in their boxes until I received the last box. I so wanted to display them but I didn't have much wall space. In between "my bedroom" and "my creative space", I put bookcases to separate the two spaces and on the edge of the bookcases is where I decided to hang the pencils. Now as I am laying in bed I get to see the colorey goodness. :) The view above is from my bed and the view below is from my desk where my computer is.

And of course, they go all the way down to the floor.

The one wall I do have, I decided to make a visual feast of all my favorite things. I have projects that I made in classes and art from other artists that I purchased and all my Halloween stuff and that is one of my favorite holidays. I still have space to add stuff and I have ordered frames for other pieces of art that I have that I just never got around to putting up. Now is the time I decided...

I am almost done with my little space and it's turning into a cozy little spot. Now I need to get creating....but isn't what I have done to my space creating???

Next Great Artist follow-up

2011-11-18T13:10:00.000-08:00

See prior post if you don't understand where this came from. Ok...so here is my project I did. LOL Not so hot but if I was there I would have spent alot more time and it would have been bigger. But I think I would have stayed anyways because at least I used the newspaper and it had some relevance to the task. LOL I am so gonna apply if the have a 3rd season!

Work of Art: The Next Great Artist-Episode 5

2011-11-10T08:12:00.000-08:00

Has anyone been watching Work of Art: The Next Great Artist on Bravo? I have, and each time I watch, I automatically start thinking of what I would make and how much better it would be than some of the artists. But then I think, it must be hard, the pressure of the TV, and all these other creatives around you giving you advice of criticism so that you start to second guess yourself. It's interesting to see how the artists go through their creative process. I decided to put up or shut up and challenge myself (and anyone who wants to join me) to the challenge that they had on episode 5. Ripped from the headlines. The artists must create a piece of art that illustrates a headline which strikes a cord with them. So now I am off to read today's paper and find a headline to create a piece about. Stay tuned as I will post tomorrow the outcome.

A new direction in my art....

2011-11-02T13:43:00.000-07:00

Whenever I go to art retreats, I try and buy one piece of art so that I can have something from a favorite teacher or artist that I get to meet at the retreat. Here is my piece from Julie Haymaker Thompson, when I went to Art & Soul Las Vegas. I almost didn't get on the plane back home because of the protractor used in the piece. The TSA agents were looking at it and then they were trying to pull it off. I told them..."don't pull to hard you'll break my piece of art!" Well they let me on the plane but that was a lesson learned...next time I would ship it home. The piece below I bought from Debbie Egizio. We were both at the Creative Connection and it was the first time I had got to meet her in person. We have been blog buddies for a long time. She is just so sweet and talented.On my trip to Art Unraveled, I bought this piece below from DJ Pettitt. I love taking her classes and have learned so much from her.

So each time I look at these I remember what I was doing, how it made me feel. It's like looking at pictures and being brought back to a certain place and time, but more often than pictures. You see, my pictures, well they pretty much stay on the computer. I used to scrapbook but I think I have completed about 6 pages out of all the stuff I had and have. How often do people bring out their photos? I'm gonna guess and say...not very often. And since I started buying art while going to art retreats I have also been buying art pieces from when I go on vacation.

This bowl I got the first time I went to Turkey with all my sisters. It sits on my coffee table and I am reminded everyday of that wonderful trip.

Below is my beaded chicken from Mexico. He's had kinda a rough time as he fell off of the shelf where I originally had him and some of his beads fell off. But even with the missing beads, he still does his job of reminding me how beautiful it was in Mexico. The artist was outside the shop making another piece so I got to see how it was done.

And....the point of all this??? I have decided to create art that will remind me of a place I have been. Something that I have seen...to remind me....of the special times and how lucky I am to see this amazing world we live in....

A Penny for Your Thoughts....

2011-08-23T08:08:00.000-07:00

Today as I was waiting in line at Starbucks, a gentleman was walking out the door and pulled his hand out of his pocket and out fell a penny....and it sat there...many people walked in and out...and even the guy mopping the floors left it there. When I was done with my order and I was standing waiting for a table to open up, I watched it...thinking, I should pick it up. It seems that a penny is not that important to people these days. If I picked it up would I have good luck? You know the sayings; Find a penny pick it up, and all day long you will have good luck. Or maybe I would have bad luck, many times have I passed a penny and left it because it had the tail side up...you know the other side of the old superstition.

There are many phrases about pennies. I would call my friend Jen a PENNY PINCHER. LOL She is pretty thrifty. And what about the pharse "A bad penny always comes back." Is there really a BAD PENNY?? I don't think so...but who knows. I think I am going to gather all the pennies and coins I find on the ground and put them in a jar and see how much I can collect. Maybe it will pay for a nice vacation one day! Because you know...they cost a PRETTY PENNY! Or is that just being PENNY WISE and a pound foolish? Anyway you look at it, a PENNY SAVED is a penny earned... I am on a quest now to find change... Just giving you my 2 cents....

What is my true purpose in life?

2011-04-14T17:02:00.000-07:00

Do you believe that life has a plan for you? Sometimes I think it does but that I am NOT LISTENING very well. Or maybe, you have to go thru things to get to the place where you need to be. I have been letting life lead me around because it's the easy way out...I need to take it by the horns and lead it to where I want to go! But do I really know where I want to go or do I just think that is where I want to go but when I get there it won't be what I wanted....am I talking in circles??? I ordered a book yesterday. It is called CALLINGS Finding and following an authentic life by Gregg Michael Levoy. If you click on the book it will take you to Amazon. I am going to read this in hopes of maybe somehow helping me to find my path to what I was meant to do on this earth. We shall see....I have been saying that I am going to do alot of things for the last few years for them to all get shoved to the side....What do I really want for my life????? THAT is the unanswered question and it has to do with a feeling than an thing I think....

Thankful...

2011-01-06T15:04:00.000-08:00

I truly believe that things happen for a reason and I also believe I have a guardian angel. I was in a accident right before Christmas...I was OK, just a little banged up but my car was not. I just found out the other day that they totaled my car. I cried at first as for most of my life, my car has represented a part of my personality. I felt like I was losing that part when I lost my car. I did alot of thinking about what I really want in life. I could go out and buy a new hot rod to tool around in, but with that comes the big payment. I decided that I would be practical. Somehow, me and the word practical have not gone hand in hand in the past! But...I would like to do other things with my money then put it into a car that the minute you drive off the lot it loses 25% of its value. I want to travel....I want to try new things...so, I made the decision that I am going to get a used car, not expensive, that can take a beating because I live in NYC where people DO NOT care what the bumpers of their cars look like! It's a new me...and I am thankful that I have an opportunity to change the direction of my life... For the past few days, I have noticed a homeless persons shopping cart on the side of the road going up to the GW Bridge. And every time I see it, I say to myself...be thankful. Be thankful you have a warm place to live, a car to drive and money to spend...

I am still doing my creativity project...It has been quick projects but I am still going along....

Day 3....

2011-01-03T15:16:00.000-08:00

Daily Creativity Project Day 3, Prompt 21 in the book. Write a 10 word love story and illustrate it;I am liking this creativity exercise. I realize that I don't have to create a masterpiece everyday, but in doing something creative everyday, it brings out more ideas for other projects. I started keeping a sketch book handy so I could draw out my ideas and write the words that I think of. I really like doing things with a play on words, or things that could be interpreted in different ways. On work days I have to do quick projects because my time is so limited at home. I have decided that I probably will have multiple projects going because it's hard to finish a project when you need drying time etc. I have one project in mind and I can't wait to see if it works! If it does then I have a plan for a series of them! Stay tuned after this weekend because that is when it should be done!

Long day...

2011-01-02T15:26:00.000-08:00

I do like going up to Vermont for the weekend...the only part I dislike is the travel back. So tonight is a short blog on my Project 365 as we got home, I worked on the project, and it is not complete as I have to let it dry for 24 hours before I paint it. But here it is...don't laugh..LOL
The project was to work with clay. I had bought the air dry clay...oh...probably 8 months ago, LOL, to play around with it and I never did. I kinda like playing with it. Maybe I will try some more things with it. I like using the wire with it too. When this is dried I will paint it and then it will say "Grow Where you are Planted" on the 3 hearts. That is my way of saying make the best of where you are at now. Explore, dream discover....

Bring on 2011! Happy New Year

2011-01-01T10:07:00.000-08:00

Don't you love the promise of a new year? It's a chance for a fresh start, a chance to change directions. But why is it that we wait? We wait for the beginning of the year, of a month, a week, even a day. Oh, I will do that tomorrow. Oh, I will start that next Monday, next month or next year. But every hour, every minute and every second we get a chance to make a decision about where we want our lives to go. And even though I am choosing today, January 1st, 2011 to start my new project and new direction, I have been preparing for this now for a couple of weeks. Gathering things I think I will need to start my journey. I made the decision to start at the new year because it was what I consider the perfect time to start something new, but I will remember that all it takes is a decision...a decision to make the effort and to make a choice in how I want my life to be. Because I am the only person that can make me happy and that you don't have to wait for the "perfect" time.

I am the only one who will do what is required to live the life I dream of. And what is it that I want?? I am not quite sure of that as I have yet to write it out, but I know I do want a creative life. So....in saying that, I bought a book I found at Barnes & Noble by chance..."A Daily Creativity Journal 365, Make Something Every Day and Change Your Life!"I have created a Flickr page to keep track of my progress. I decided not to follow the creative prompts in order but to bounce around so I have a greater chance of success. I bought myself a day planner to help keep me on track. This project is not my only change for the year. I want to travel, to try new things and explore the world around me and I am hoping that giving myself a visual list will make it more real for me...a list of things to do to meet my goals. You can't reach your goals unless you define what they are. And yes my sister Lynn, I said list! LOL

This is my life and I am the only one who can make me happy and I am the only one to blame if I don't get to where I want to go. So this is my year to focus on what Cindy wants. Some people might call this selfishness but I choose to call it self love. In saying that, it brings me to my theme for my creative project. Love/Hearts. Here is the first creative prompt that I chose:

And here is what I did:

I played in the snow. This was alot harder to do than it looks! LOL I kept almost falling over and then I had to deal with the neighbors dog running over trying to play with me. After I did this then I had to run upstairs to take the pic hoping the dog didn't run through it until I got my shot. Mission accomplished. My start, for this is what I plan to do this year....Love myself....take care of me...decide what I want out of life. Maybe I will inspire some of you to join my on the journey. It's gonna be a wild ride....Hold onto your hats...LOL

Back from the Creative Connection

2010-09-19T18:36:00.000-07:00

So I am back from the Creative Connection. I learned alot while I was gone. I will definitely go next year to this event. There were many many amazing women. I felt so in awe of so many of them. The thing that I learned the most was that I just need to get back on the horse and start riding again....so I took a tumble...I gotta dust myself off and get to busy! I did learn about myself also. I learned that I have to be true to me....not to what others think I should be. I learned that there are just some people that I don't care to be around...but that is ok...it's ok not to "like" everyone. I don't have too. There are enough people in the world that I don't have to be around people that are mean and rude.

On a very very positive note, I met a long time blog friend for the first time in person and I will say she is a most amazing artist and person. A very kind a sweet person! Debbie...I am a big fan! It was worth the trip just to say hi!

Oh....and another great person I met was Karen Valentine! Love her!! I am gonna have her do some updates on my blog!

I will write more tomorrow as I must head to bed cause I have to go to the day job tomorrow....

Good Night World!

Washed Up Has Been???

2010-09-17T08:50:00.000-07:00

That is what I feel like in some respects, harsh I know but I guess I need something like that to kick me in the butt and say...come on now, get creating!!! I am at the Creative Connection in Minneapolis, MN and I am surrounded by all sorts of amazingly creative women who are following their passion....I am awed & intimidated but excited to get going again because I see the possibilities. I am envious because they are moving forward and I am sitting still....a situation I have had a hard time getting out of....I am in the doldrums....Like Milo in the story The Phantom Tollbooth. I got here by doing nothing and not paying attention. I love this story...it is really insightful...so anyways...back to my dilemma....So there I sat in my hotel room....just getting back from a day full of meeting wonderful people from all over. I decide to go through my swag bag that we got at dinner. They have had some pretty cool stuff that they have given us. Then I saw these little things.... I was very intrigued by these itizen tackit tags and knew I had to find out more on these because they kinda went with an idea I had about making some Guerilla Art. So I decided to create a little piece of art to send out into the world and see where is goes. Not the greatest piece but still something creative of my own making.... Be original is what I wrote on it because everyday I strive to be original. I don't want to do what everyone else is doing...that is why I gave up on jewelry. I don't feel I have what it takes nor do I want too with jewelry. So I am letting that go and moving to painting or something in that area. And I will get back to blogging.... so here is the back of my little piece.

These little tags are trackers. You go to this web site and log the numbers...or you can scan it if you have an iPhone and a barcode reader app. So cool! So it is now posted on that sight and I hope whomever finds it will pass it on and so on and so forth. It will be fun to watch it travel. And here the stories...

Here is my inspiration picture that I used to paint mine. It was taken in the backroads of VT. On my painting is the Latitude and Longitude coordinates of where the picture was taken. That is something that I am going to incorporate into all my pieces now. I think it's a fun idea and it gives me a chance to take photos and create using them. Well I am off now to go place my art somewhere for someone to find....and to go meet some more amazing women....

Coming Soon!

2010-08-30T04:52:00.000-07:00

Next month is my Birthday month and I am going to revamp my header for my blog and each month I am going to create a new header. I decided that I need to push myself into creating something....anything...so that is what I decided. I am going to act as if it's my job and my paycheck depends on it...LOL So..On Wed evening...I will be changing it up....I am considering it the beginning of a new year.

To the country we go....

2010-07-04T18:33:00.000-07:00

So once again we are in Vermont in what Ed likes to call the country. It is very peaceful here. We haven't been here for a few weeks so there were plenty of chores to be done. To say the lawn needed to be cut was an understatement. But before Ed got the weed whacker out, I cut some of the wild flowers and put them on the table outside where we have our meals in the summer time.

Missy always loves coming here. Here she is laying in the grass before it was cut. LOL She was rolling around and loving the fresh country air. It's the only time that she gets to run free as being a city dog now means being on a leash at all times when going out.

While I was getting my photos ready for posting, I decided to try using the paint brushes in Photoshop and I realized that I could use my tablet laptop and use the pen to actually write on my photos. LOL I know...I am a little behind in learning all the stuff my computer and Photoshop can do. so many things to do....So little time.....

I have made a commitment to myself though....to make more time for art. I have been in hiding it seems....So many changes and emotions over the past couple of years....It's time to get back on the wagon and start living....

Think before your speak....

2010-05-04T17:32:00.000-07:00

Tonight I created the journal below...does it make you wonder???I think I want to start a new movement...one that the world really needs these days.... Tonight I read a blog about someone joining the "No Phone Zone" Pledge. As I read the comments on this blog (names have been excluded to protect the innocent...or not so innocent as the case may be...LOL) A person wrote "I hate to burst your bubble....but" and went on to say a number of things... And I thought to myself, WHY, WHY did this person feel the need to say I hate to burst your bubble. To make her seem smart? In the know? Superior? I mean seriously what is the purpose of saying negative things to people on their blogs? I have never understood that. If I don't like or disagree with something, I will just move on...everyone is entitled to their own opinion and we can all just disagree to disagree. That is what makes everyone unique! They are all different. I have been thinking about this alot lately. I am as guilty as the next person of saying things that I really just didn't need to say... So from today on...I am carrying my -#?%!*+ words journal with me so that instead of me saying what I want out loud, I am going to think twice and write it down in my journal. I will not use names in this...just in case it falls into enemy hands LOL, I am just going to act like I am speaking directly to the person and write what I have to say. That way I get it out of me and I can let it go....I am calling it my unfiltered journal. Because as my co worker Kim would say, Just think what would have come out of my mouth if I didn't have a filter! LOL So who is with me??? The world will be a nicer place if we all just think about why we feel the need to say something that might be hurtful to another person....

P.S. If you ever find my unfiltered journal you had better close your eyes, cover your ears and shut your mouth...LOL

Oh...and another thing...I hate the word BUT....seriously...use this word and everything before you said BUT means nothing, zip, nada, zilch...

View from the passenger side of the car....

2010-05-01T16:00:00.001-07:00

I can't just do one....

2010-04-07T14:18:00.001-07:00

I am trying this daily photo thing but it seems there is always more than just one shot...LOL

Everyday after work I have to take my doggie out for a walk since I can't just open the door and let her in the back yard anymore...I don't have a backyard...LOL So we walk around the block while she sniffs and pees everywhere....and I mean everywhere...LOL I knew that I wanted to take a picture of this sign and I figured I would be done for the day... And...pick up after my dog is what I do on a daily basis. On her leash is a little bag holder and when she goes....I pick it up. Now let me tell you...there are A LOT of people that don't LOL We see the aftermath everyday! LOL So as we were almost home, I noticed this:

and I had a good giggle...I don't know if it's been there for awhile or it's new but it made me laugh and of course Missy followed the instructions.... Now I am off to do paperwork and if I finish...maybe finish my painting that I started last night....

A Productive Day...I feel Good!

2010-04-06T17:39:00.000-07:00

My day started out just like all my days here in NYC...get up go to work, crunch numbers etc... but then at lunch time, I decided to check out some blogs and on Sandra Evertson's blog, there was a link to The Creative Connection Event and I clicked on it to see what it was.... I ended up signing up and I will be going there in September. I am very excited about it. It's another step towards my dream of owning my own business... So with my feeling of excitement, I actually got alot of things done...and then when I got home, I did some more. I can't remember who's blog I saw it one but they were doing a picture a day and I liked that idea so I decided to take my camera out while walking Missy. Here is my picture of the day...It's starting to show the signs of spring...all the trees are blooming and it was a nice warm day. So after we got done with our walk, I decided to take the advice of Kerri Posson. She told me to just start creating and not care about what my space looks like...so I did...I grabbed a little canvas that I drawn a sketch on a long time ago and actually start to paint it! It's only a little 4 x 4 but it felt really good to paint. So here is my progress today. It is going to be a picture of lemonade and a sign. I will try and finish it up tomorrow but I am quite pleased with the beginning of it... In yesterday's post...I was lamenting about the state of my creative space....so I figured I would show a picture of it in all it's messy cramped glory...
Soon....soon...I will have it all organized...

If I knew....

2010-04-05T17:13:00.000-07:00

If I knew I could keep them alive, I would get myself a salt water tank and have a bunch of seahorses.
A couple of weeks ago when we went out for sushi, I noticed this little guy just swimming along. The tank they have runs the span of the restaurant so he had plenty of room to swim around. I just sat and watched him flit from here to there. It was just so calming and peaceful. I would love to have something like that to calm my nerves after a long hard day. I do know if it's because I am getting older or it's because I have gone through a life upheaval in the last 6 to 10 months but I will say that I have been more stressed than I feel I have ever been. I so want to get back to doing my art but every time I look at my space I feel overwhelmed with what needs to be done before I start working in it. I am one of those people that feels guilty doing my art when my area needs to be cleaned....so I end up doing nothing and then still feeling guilty for not doing anything and wasting my time. LOL So should I post pictures of my unfinished space for all to see and maybe give my the kick in the pants to get it done? Or should I hide in my space of chaos until I finally do something about it?? Opinions? Thoughts?

I am....

2010-03-30T17:14:00.000-07:00

I know that I have not blogged in MONTHS!!! I have been having my own pity party for far to long and now it's time to kick myself in the but, pull myself up by the bootstraps and get busy living the life I want and not crying about what I don't have... The only person I can blame is myself for not taking any steps to get there... So I have been reading books and more books, and more books...LOL TRYING to find my way out of my fog...I needed something to inspire me. Jen told me I needed to get the book "I could do anything if I only knew what it was." It has been a pretty good book for me to read. It really makes you take a look at what brings you happiness and what you really would love to do in life and use your strengths to do it well. So it asks you to go back in time and think about what you did as a kid that brought you happiness.... And so I did...When I was little, I was always crafting something...me and my little sister would create snakes out of clay to play with in the backyard. My mom would always buy me paint by number kits, or those marker posters. Nothing was safe from being changed. Our little people houses would get carpeting put in them and furniture hand crafted by us. What imaginations we had... I think the most telling moment was when I was 12. We were moving once again and my dad told us we only got one box a piece to put the toys we wanted into and take with us...everything else had to go. My dad had just given me a couple months before, a whole box full of old art supplies that he had used in his work. I told him that that was the box I wanted to take, that I didn't care about anything else, which was a big thing for me as I had a ton of Breyers horses and Misty Books, etc...as I was a horse fanatic too. I was willing to give up all my horses to take art supplies.... Well...he didn't let me take the art supplies... So now, later in life...I am a collector...of art supplies.... I love to buy them, display them. I try to use them...LOL I have a horrible habit of trying to buy every color...even if I won't use them all...

I love to see all the items lined up in rows, color after color and knowing that if I want a color that it is there for the using.... My latest purchase was these little bottles of German glass glitter...(purchased here)

Who knows if I will use all these colors, but they look so good with all my other supplies...LOL Ok...so what is the point of all this??? I know what I want to do...I have wanted to do it for years but I have never done a single thing to move forward. I want to have my own business....It will be some kind of art business, where I can buy supplies and place them on the shelves and make them look nice, where people can come and create, hang out and have fun and make arty friends...This is my dream....and the only way I am gonna get there is one step at a time....I don't know when I will get there but here is to taking chances and longs walks.....LOL

Seriously....who am I kidding?

2010-01-06T16:49:00.000-08:00

I suck at writing in a journal...I mean really....this blog is the closest thing I have ever had to a journal. Oh....I have many many many journals....all with about 4 days worth of writing...LOL That is about as far as I get. So I did 4 days in the book...40 days 40 nights and then I skipped 2 nights. I guess I will get to a page tonight...but the past 2 nights I have been so tired from work etc that I had no energy to write. To me it take more energy to handwrite something that to type it. So...here I am typing. Not writing in that book! LOL BUT...I will say that I am doing well on my goals of getting my life back on track. It feels good to get things organized. This weekend my plan is to work on my art space. I will be alone to work on it as much or as little as I want. A couple weeks ago I did all this... I love looking at all my supplies so I need to see them...be surrounded by them. I took closeups because I didn't want to show the mess that is only 3 feet away from these bookcases of mine... But I am off to a pretty good start. I basically started all over when I moved here to NYC as far as furniture for my stuff goes. Before this weekend I will buy my desk that will be my work space. I am excited at the possibilities...time to create.... When it is all said and done I will take pictures again. Maybe I will even submit these to a magazine that has studio spaces of creative women in them.

40 Days & 40 Nights....the journey begins.....

2010-01-02T17:09:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to all. I am hoping that 2010 brings many things into my life and leaves a bunch of things behind. 2009 was a year of transitions....leaving a job that I had for many many years, leaving a state I had lived for many many years, traveling out of the country, coming back to the country, getting a new job, a new apartment, a new life....but in getting that new life I lost my creative life for awhile. So what is the picture of the book? It is called 40 days and 40 Nights taking time out for self-discovery. A guided journal. I needed to do something to get me back on track.... Part of this book is to pick an intention an in working through this book hopefully you will move towards that intention. So what is my intention? My intention is to get back to my creative life. To get back to doing what I want, to getting back to me.... I have a hard time finishing things like this, but I am going to work my hardest to complete this book and work in in everyday....no matter how tired, busy or lazy I am or want to be. At the beginning of 2008, I listed my goals at the beginning of the year and I worked towards them with great passion and I exceeded my goals way beyond what I expected...so once again, I will be making a list of goals I would like to accomplish this year and working hard and with great passion to achieve them and of course it would be fantastic to exceed them! Life is what you create it and I am on the journey to create the life I want.... So, follow if you like as part of my process is blogging and I am getting back to that....

So for this weekend, we have come up to Vermont to enjoy a quiet New Year. The first day of 2010 was a very good day and what I hope to be a sign of what 2010 will bring....happiness and creativity. We enjoyed long talks and shopping most of the day. Today we woke up to a couple more inches of snow. There is something so magical about being up here when it is snowing...

As I was out taking these pictures this morning, I thought I heard what sounded like running water, like a stream....I walked over to see if there was a trickling stream but the noise seemed to come from above....and when I looked at the top of the trees, they were swaying ever so slightly and I realized that it was the wind whispering through the trees. I haven't been in a place for so long that was so silent that you could hear the wind whistle through the trees branches....I felt so at peace...

It was just what I needed....

Online Class Visual Poetry

2009-11-03T01:51:00.000-08:00

So since I can't seem to get to my art supplies anytime soon, I decided to take an online photoshop elements class as I have some ideas running through my mind on some art I want to create. This class is by Susan Tuttle. Here is the results of my first lesson. We are learning how to age and make our photos look vintage.

Here is the before shot.

I really like learning how to do this....oh the possibilities!

My stuff has arrived.....finally.....

2009-10-28T15:35:00.001-07:00

See all that??? And that is not all.....that I have to fit in here:

Is it gonna fit???? My little 7x7 space that will now be my art space. I have about 10 more boxes down stairs....I may have to purge again! Life has been hectic. The moving fiasco as I call, was dragged out for weeks...dealing with a shady moving company that I ended up telling to get out of my house and cancel my contract to finding a new reputable company who finally got my stuff here....safe and sound....well I guess we will see once I open the boxes. I am tired of being with out my art stuff....I am so wanting to try a new project that I have in mind but I do not have my space yet.....but this weekend...I will be working on creating a work space that is efficient AND looks good! So....hopefully soon....soon I will be able to create....

Where is the world has Cindy gone?????

2009-09-22T18:11:00.000-07:00

Yes I know I know...I have been TERRIBLE at writing on my blog...so here is the deal... I am back from Istanbul...I came back to NYC for 10 days...went back to Vegas for 14 days to pack up my belongings...and then I have come back to NYC...started a job and found an apartment that I will be moving into this weekend....Phewwwww.....I am tired! Yes I will post more pictures of Turkey when I get a chance...yes I will post pictures of my life here in NYC....and soon...hopefully soon...my art space will be set up and I can start creating again...get back to my life....Ah....Normalness....What is normal anyways??? Who defines normal??? It is when we are in a rut? Or is it just our comfort zone....either way...I have not been in either for the last 4 months and I am ready for some comfort....

TTFN!

2009-08-16T05:56:00.000-07:00

July 4th Part 3...the final part....

2009-08-02T05:52:00.000-07:00

So after the boat cruise, I made Sandy & Gulden take me to the antique district. It was off the beaten path.... There were lots of little streets....going off in all directions....

I went into lots of little stores filled with old books and trinkets...I was in heaven. LOL I think my sister and Gulden thought I was nuts.

Of course I saw the "E" and had to take a picture of it. That's for my man....Ed.

I thought this was kinda cute...street art...graffiti...call it what you like....

Gulden went into this old record store. Sandy decided to take a sit break and I took her picture. Isn't she cute???

I couldn't resist taking this picture....they have all kinds of things in these stores...

and of course on the streets there are always little vendors selling the fruits and veggies. I just find the look of these so wonderful.

We walked thru the streets and ended up at Taksim Square....which is considered the heart of Istanbul. Food.....

Tons of people.....

It was a bustling place. Full of stores for shopping, places to eat. I was amazed at how many people were there. the trolley reminded me of San Franscisco. It was pretty cool.

As I said....you can find all kinds of stuff here...LOL

Even a Pizza Hut. They had McDonalds, Burger King, and a bunch of other places to eat....

I kinda like the street vendors. They had these all down the street...people selling hot corn on the cob...roasted actually....

After we got done walking up the street, we took a cab to Chili's and had dinner. Yes I said Chili's. It just came to Istanbul in March. It was Guldens husbands birthday. We had a nice dinner and then we went bowling....

Sandy is a pretty good bowler! It was a long day...but a good day. I saw alot of Istanbul and enjoyed it.

July 4th Part 2

2009-08-02T05:05:00.000-07:00

Ok...I know I know....I have been neglectful in my blogging...lots of emotional stuff going on but I will talk about that later...Here is the 2nd part of July 4th....the Boat Cruise.... We decided to take a boat cruis of the Bopherous. It was very beautiful. I will let the pictures do the talking...

My 4th of July-Part 1

2009-07-09T10:06:00.001-07:00

My 4th of July was not spent celebrating independence day. It was spent sightseeing in Istanbul with the best tour guides! My sister Sandy and Gulden, her friend, coworker, cousin-in-law. We took the Ferry across the Bopherous to the European side of Istanbul. I love taking the Ferry as the water is my favorite place to be...

Here is the Maiden’s Tower. According to the most widely-known story in Turkey, the ruler of that time dreamt that his beloved daughter was fatally bitten by a snake. In order to protect his daughter, he had a tower built in the middle of the sea and sent her to live there. However, a snake hidden in a basket of grapes sent by the ruler bit the princess who died as a result. The present-day tower was built out of stone in 1719.

This is Dolmabahçe Palace. Beautiful isn't it. I will tell more a little later.

So we got off the ferry and starting walking to Dolmabahçe Palace. It was a bit of a walk but I didn't mind as I was busy taking pictures. Sandy and Gulden had to keep stopping and waiting for me. LOL Here is just a randon street. I just love the architecture here.

And of course I love tree lined streets....

So we arrived at Dolmabahçe Palace. The palace takes up a surface area of 45,000 square meters, while its walls are covered with neoclassical, empirical and baroque decorations. Its symmetrical façade along the quayside has a total length of 284 meters. The palace has 285 rooms, four grand salons, six galleries, five main staircases, six hamams (of which the main one is pure alabaster), and 43 toilets. Fourteen tons of gold and 6 tons of silver were used to build the palace. The extensive use of glass, especially in the Camli Kösk conservatory, provides a gallery of virtually every known application of glass technology of the day. The palace is a glittering collection of Baccarat, Bohemian, and English crystal as well as Venetian glass, which was used in the construction of walls, roofs, banisters, and even a crystal piano. The chandelier in the Throne Room is the largest one in Europe at 4.5 tons, a bulk that created an engineering challenge during installation but that has withstood repeated earthquake tests. Pretty impressive huh?

They have these guards outside the palace and they are like the ones in England and they can't move. They had just had a changing of the guard and the guy walking around was fixing this soldiers uniform. Making sure his feet were in the correct spot. It is pretty amazing that they have to stand still for 2 hours straight.

We never made it inside as the tours were closed because there were too many people inside. So we decided to go grab something to eat and went down to the Bopherous again...there was shopping down by were we ate. Very cute...

No he is not dead. You know I like to take pictures of the locals...he was just resting. It was very hot. This is just something you do not see in the states is all the stray animals roaming the streets. They are very friendly...but it's just kinda sad....

Another local with some local art. I thought these were pretty cool. I think the cats of Istanbul have it so much better than the dogs....

I thought this picture of the little boy was too good not to take. He was trying to feed the pigeons and then catch them. He got close a couple of times but no luck.

I will leave you with another local...checking out his possible lunch.

Next we headed to a boat tour of the Bopherous but that will have to wait for another day. I am tired.... I know I need to catch up on my blogging as I still have the rest of this day and then Sunday...and tomorrow is friday already and I know I will be doing something this weekend....

Emergency Room....

2009-07-01T09:10:00.000-07:00

I said the other day that I was going to break out of this joint....well I did...right into the emergency room. I ended up getting sicker. Lets just say that I was dehydrated. So my sister and her hubby took me to the ER. Below is the entrance. Let me just say that I was pleasently suprised at how nice the hospital was. It was better service and care than alot of American hospitals. I walked in and they put me in a bed right away. They found an english speaking Doctor. She was very very nice. So they took blood and did some other tests....and I have some kind of stomach thing....I will spare you the details...LOL They put an IV in me and gave me anti nauesa medication and then fluids. Cengiz, my brother in law took pictures me while I was in the bed having the IV put in. If he sends them to me I might put one up here but it might be R rated as I was flipping him off when he was doing it. LOL He said I could post them to my blog.

Nice bracelet huh? I didn't figure I would get one of those here. Just a memento of my trip. I felt better when I left the hospital. I was suprised that my trip was not that expensive. In the states it would have cost and arm and a leg. I left with 3 perscriptions and a special diet...

So that was yesterday....today I am not feeling much better. Maybe just a little...and I am very very tired. So...this make 5 days that I have been sick....in this apartment...lonely & bored....as it is 7:30pm here in Istanbul. I hope that this goes away soon and I can venture out.....

Sick...

2009-06-29T13:51:00.000-07:00

For the last 3 days I have been sick...flu or something...so no pictures...unless you want to see me in my pj's....what a scary site that would be. I have not left the apartment once in that 3 days. Tomorrow I do not care if I am not feeling well...I am breaking out of this joint! LOL I must or I will go insane. This weekend was rough on me emotionally. Got into an arguement with my boyfriend...through email....which really just sucks as a way of communicating for long distance. You can't hear tone or see body language...it's just plain old hard. But we ended up IM'ing each other and talking it out once again. This long distance thing is very much wearing on my nerves....I love him so....I just want to be with him....but I commited to this trip. I just am finding it harder emotionally than I thought it would be. I got to IM Jennifer today. She always makes me laugh and I feel so much better after talking to her...It is a joy to be her friend! I am hoping that this coming weekend I can do some sightseeing in Istanbul. I will make Goktan or someone take me! I need to explore!

Girls Night Out

2009-06-27T05:35:00.000-07:00

Last night we went out with a few girls from the office. We went to dinner and a movie. Here is the restaurant we went to...Cafe de Paris. Not a great picture but the best I could do after we left as it was dark. From left to right It is Basak, my sister Sandy, Asli (I don't have the Turkish I one my keyboard so it sounds like Asla) and me.
The we walked to the movie theater and saw The Proposal. That is my new favorite Sandra Bullock movie. She is so funny. It was a very very good movie. I will buy it what it comes out. Then we went to a little English pub for a drink and then headed home. It was a good evening. I need socialization! LOL

Sightseeing and an evening out after my meltdown...

2009-06-24T09:47:00.000-07:00

So yesterday, Goktan must have taken pity on me because the day before I was on the verge of crying all day. I had no sleep the night before...I was homesick and missing my kids, my boyfriend, my dog, my car....my life. He called me and asked if I had dinner plans and I said no and he said good....you are coming with me. He took me to meet some of his friends. Here he is with one of them, Pinar. Aren't they cute together...he had to bend down to take the picture because he is tall and she is short. Anyways....they took me to Bhagdad street. It is were all the upscale shopping and restaurants on the Asian side of the Bospherous. It was very nice.

This picture I took for Jen! It's one of the first words she wanted me to learn. Indirim is Turkish for discount. LOL...yes Jen...I learned it, I know it and I will use it! LOL

Of course I always take pictures of the locals.

I am liking the city streets here. They are crazy to drive on but nice to walk.

They took me to a park by the Bopherous and let me take pictures. It was very sweet of them to wait while I took so many! Like this kissing couple! LOL I couldn't resist. I have to show that Istanbul is just like everywhere else....

With all kinds of people. My brother in law says it's like NYC and I totally agree with him.

Goktan told me history behind some of the places. It is so amazing how old some of these buildings are.

I just love the water....So pretty

Then we went to a bar where another friend joined us and we all sat and chatted and laughed the evening away. I had to take the picture of this poster in the bar. I thought it was pretty funny to be sitting in a bar in Istanbul and see a poster about the world monopoly championship in Las Vegas....

I am glad I went instead of going home and burying my head in the pillows. I needed that. The language barrier gets to me sometimes. So....A week and a half into my experience....and I have already broken down and cried! LOL...be quite Jennifer...I know I am a crybaby!

To the kennels we go....

2009-06-21T11:20:00.001-07:00

I went to bed early on Friday and woke up Saturday and it was another beautiful day out. Goktan and Basak picked me up but while I was waiting for them, I took this picture of the yard beside my sisters apartment. It is so pretty and peaceful... Then we drove to the kennels. Here is Goktan....He is such a character. Crazy guy. He must be to like being attacked by dogs! I don't care if he does have a bite suit on!

I was shown around the kennels again. It really is a nice place. They have fruit trees in the backyard. I have no idea what kind of tree this was but I loved the bright orangy red of these flowers.

Then we went to see the puppies. They have them in all ages. They were just so cute!

Below were my favorites. They were the sweetest little things. Not so sweet when they grow up...but for now....

And here is Goktan training one of the dogs. It was very interesting to watch.

I saw so many dogs I don't know how they keep track of who is who.....I stayed at the kennel till around 4:30 and then Goktan took me home. We had our dictionaries with us again! LOL Something I realized when talking with him during the day was how much slang we use in the States. Sometimes my choice of phrases didn't translate well so I had to figure out another word that would get my point across. It is something that we take for granted over there that people know what we are talking about. Saying something like "he flipped his lid". LOL Try explaining that one... Every day I am learning more and more Turkish. Just listening to the people and watching the commercials on TV help. We went grocery shopping yesterday too and even though I couldn't read the words...I pretty much knew what everything was because the packaging is very similar to that in the states. It was funny to go into the international isle and see the American food! LOL I can get Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup but it's gonna cost me 5 bucks a can!

Today was a lazy day....we did nothing but lay around and watch TV. Cleaned the house and made Chili for dinner. Tomorrow is work again....Hi Ho, Hi Ho...it's off to work I go....LOL

Show & Tell

2009-06-19T10:07:00.000-07:00

Today, since I didn't have to be at the office as early as my sister, I decided that I would stay home catch a few Zzzzzzzz's and then walk to work. It was a beautiful day. Not to hot not to cold...just right....with a slight breeze. I figured I would take a few pics to show you my journey. Here is a picture of where I now live for the next few months as I was walking away from the building.... There are a ton of little stores below all the apartment buildings. I would say it is very much like New York City, except they sell way more fresh fruits and vegatables. I had some peaches last night that were so awesome! I swear I could become a vegetarian here.

This was my view walking forward to work. It's only about a mile to walk to work. Not too bad. Get a little exercise. just gotta watch out when you cross the street. Turks don't like to stop and wait for anything! They hate lines! Any kind of line, traffic, in the store....they will just cut in front of you. New York City traffic will be a breeze after being here. It is just so opposite of how it is when you meet them. They are just soooooooo nice! Friendly....makes no sense...but Cest La Vie....

I guess there is a Katy Perry concert coming....LOL I just liked the look of the wall...

Cute little traffic sign. Have no idea what it says except no parking...LOL I think we should have little heart traffic cones in the USA. LOL

Ahhhhhh.....my final destination....where I go to work with my sister......

Today was a good day. No mall food court today. After work I walked home too. I was not in the mood to go anywhere.....so my sister and her hubby are still at work slaving away. I am going to bed as soon as I finish this post as they have wore me out for the week! TGIF!!! Well...not really cause tomorrow I head to the Kennels to check out that.....

I have to find time to create something soon....maybe I will do a sketch or something......We shall see....

2009-06-18T13:38:00.000-07:00

Another day in Istanbul. Hmmm...I was at work all day. We went to the mall food court again for lunch. I again went the safe route and today I ate Burger King...LOL Whopper Jr...it tastes the same as in the states. No difference. Maybe next week I will try one of the Turkish places. LOL After work, Goktan asked my sister if he could take me to dinner to discuss K9 Business. She told him to have me home no later than 10pm. LOL and she asked where he was taking me...LOL I felt like she was my mother. So off we went. It felt weird to be out and about in Istanbul without my security blanket (my sister). So we went to a Turkish restaurant and he picked out food and I just ate what was in front of me. It was awesome! LOL I have no idea what it was but it was good. I think one thing was like a stuffed eggplant. Have no idea. I will make Goktan tell my sister tomorrow what we had and she can then tell me...LOL After dinner he drove down by the Bospherous to what we in the states would call a hooka lounge. This is where we did most of our talking. It was a sight. Me with my 3 inch English to Turkish dictionary and him with his 3 inch Turkish to English dictionary. LOL I can only imagine what people were thinking. He speaks pretty good english but some words we get stuck on. Here is the view from the lounge.

The weather was perfect. It was a good evening. After we were done talking he drove me back to where my sister was eating....my favorite place...LOL and I sat with them where I got to eat my favorite fruit! Kavun. That is Turkish for Cantalope type melon. So again....I didn't get home till 11pm.

Dependent

2009-06-17T10:33:00.000-07:00

Today at lunch we went to the mall for lunch. As I was standing looking around the food court, Basak giggled at me. She said I looked totally lost. And I was....I was thinking to myself that I needed to learn Turkish fast!!! That I was totally dependent of those around me to communicate with anybody but them. It is not a good feeling for me. I have issues with feeling dependent...ask my boyfriend!! Ask my ex! That is probably the single biggest cause of our marriage breakdown is that he needed to be needed and I am totally against needing anyone. LOL I obviously have issues. So my plan of attack tomorrow is to sit down with my lessons and hit it hard all day and see what sinks in. I have about 50 or so words that I know now. But it is not enough for me. Before when I was here it was no big deal as it was only for a week at a time...but now I will be here for months....I need to take care of myself.

So anyways, here is the view from my bedroom window. It is the city life. Last night a street cleaner woke me up out of my very good sleep. It is nice to sleep with the windows open. We are high enough not to have to worry. I just didn't like it last night!!! LOL
Going to dinner now....it's almost 9pm. I am sure that we will be out late again....Ah such is the life at my little sisters! Crazy!

We could use one of these...

2009-06-16T13:19:00.000-07:00

So today was pretty uneventful. I got to go in the afternoon instead of first thing in the morning to my sisters work. We had to take her cat to the vet first. So along the way I was taking in the sights and I saw this in my sister's neighborhood and a couple other neighborhoods. Come on...don't we all need a watermelon truck in America??? LOL How awesome is that. See those yellow melons....Those are the BEST things EVER!! OMG....I love them. I could eat them everyday! And here is another you don't see in the USA....McDonald's delivers here! And Burger King and KFC. LOL

Didn't get home till 11pm again....dinners here take about 3 hours! Just sitting, drinking, talking, eating.... I am beat though. The jetlag is killing me. I hope to get a good nights rest as I had no naps today. So I am off to La La land....

I have arrived....

2009-06-15T15:29:00.000-07:00

Ok....I know I know.....I haven't blogged....but I couldn't connect to the internet from my computer and I needed it to be able to add pictures! I don't like blogging without pictures!!! Anyways, I am here in Istanbul. I arrived today...well actually yesterday as it is 1:30am. But I had to show people that it is modern. So here are a couple of pictures from the ride back from the airport.
See....pretty modern. Tomorrow I will be going into work with my sister. I look forward to all that offers. I am going to try and blog once a day....even if it is short.... I will be posting pics too. My adventures....etc. I have to take a picture of the Watermelon truck tomorrow. You will understand when you see it...LOL So all is ok in Cindyland....

Leaving Las Vegas....Day 1

2009-05-19T20:41:00.000-07:00

As I was driving out of Las Vegas...I was full of mixed emotions. This was the same road that I came into town 14 years ago. I came to Vegas with a husband, 2 young kids and entry level job skills. During the next 14 years I started working in the construction accounting world and worked my way up to the top. My kids grew up, Megan graduates in a few weeks and my marriage...well that was a roller coaster that ended up coming off the tracks and falling hard. But would I change any of it? Maybe a few things, but I believe that what happens to you makes you who you are. So...I left Las Vegas, alone...no husband, no kids with me and no job. But what I did leave with was a sense of excitement of the possibilities....of things to come, of places to see, people to meet and things to experience.

The early part of the day was spent in Utah....my most dreaded part of the drive.

All a bunch of rocks and nothingness. One sign said no services for 110 miles....they weren't kidding....nothing, nothing, nothing....as I entered Colorado, the terrain started to change.

I started to notice more colors...brighter colors and I started to feel like I was in the Wizard of Oz. You know how it starts in black and white and then turns to color.

The further I went, the more color I saw. I knew that things in Las Vegas were always a bland mix of browns, tans and sages. The only color being the neon signs.

I got to the Rockies in the late afternoon. As I drove through and saw all the snow still on the ground, I was happy I made the decision to drive my car across the country now instead of when I come back from Turkey. It will be winter then...I so didn't want to drive through there during winter! My plan was to stop for the night once I got right past Denver....

Well that didn't work....I had to keep driving....into the sunset....because I couldn't find a vacancy at a hotel! I kept stopping at the next few towns only to find no room at the inns! Finally...when I got into Nebraska, and into central time...midnight...I found a room. 1000 miles driven...and 700 to go tomorrow... 15 hours in the car. The 10 hour flight to Turkey will feel like a breeze compared to this day. Sleep came easy.....

Soon....

2009-05-14T09:07:00.000-07:00

Soon I will be leaving the city that I have lived in for the longest period of my life. 14 years here in Las Vegas. I have seen it grow at an amazing pace and have enjoyed the benefits of that and now I am watching as it takes a huge dive.... But don't count out Las Vegas yet. It will bounce back. My kids and my friends are still here so I will be back to visit. Where else in the world can you go to New York City part of the evening.... and then Paris for the rest of the evening?

Or where you can walk in and see a lion in the middle of a Casino?

Or watch fountains dance to music....

Or see the most neon light that you have ever seen?

I am sad and excited at the same time. Sad to leave my kids and my friends but excited to start my journey of discovery....This weekend I am packing up my car and heading East to New York City. I will be making pit stops along the way. I am starting my journey in the Good ol' US of A. So stay tuned because I am going to try and blog alot more often about this trip....I don't leave the US until June 14th so I will have plenty of time to see the USA. Maybe I will discover things that I never knew....we will see....

Ignorance is bliss....

2009-05-12T15:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes.....I do really stupid things....I read an email that I wasn't supposed to read from about 11 months ago...and it just brought back all of that CRAP right back in front of me. I cried for hours over it last night....It was very hurtful...to me...to read. But then, the more I thought about it, the more I decided that it was a good thing for me to see. I 100% know for sure I did the right thing last July. I know now...that I am stronger than I thought I was. I know for sure that I can survive just about anything....A friend saw me today and said I was just glowing...that I looked so happy now...So to me...that said it all....you can knock me down but I am gonna get right back up and I am gonna be stronger than before....

My first class!

2009-05-04T02:39:00.000-07:00

I have no pictures! Can you believe it????? I was so scattered brained or maybe it was that my students were such a rowdy bunch! LOL Ladies....you were the BEST! I had the best time ever teaching you. If you read this, please send me pictures of your flowers so I can post them! I was so proud! They did a great job and we had a lot of fun. Although...warning for future students as told by past students...wear goggles around me....My wires tend to fly across the room! LOL.

What to bring....

2009-04-27T07:41:00.000-07:00

I am having a hard time trying to decide what art supplies to bring with me to Turkey? I need something with me so I can create....But I can only fit so much in my bag!!! Help! LOL Maybe I will bring something easy like my Twinkling H20's. I miss using them....maybe I will be inspired to start creating more little paintings like this one...
Maybe I will keep a Art Journal of my experience. I just have to commit to that! Hmmmm....I have an idea....

Perceptions....

2009-04-23T10:15:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered where people get their perceptions of things? Since I have announced that I am going to Istanbul Turkey, I have been amazed at some of the things people have said to me. Like do you have to wear a burka? Are women allowed to drive? I have had to explain that Turkey is not Iraq. Istanbul is a very modern city. Hopefully, my journey will help a few people open their eyes to the world around them and maybe be a bit more open minded. I used to be one of those closed minded people that never wanted to leave the USA. But now...my eyes are wide open to all the possibilities and I can't wait to experience everything life has to offer....bring it on!

Bucket List

2009-04-20T09:58:00.000-07:00

Have you seen that movie? The Bucket List? Today I was reading Missy Trent's Blog and she had a post about Assateague Island. It reminded me of the Chincoteague Island Pony round up that is held every year. I used to ready about this in books when I was a kid. I was a horse fanatic and my mother bought me the Misty of Chincoteague book and I was hooked on Misty stories. But back to my topic...the bucket list....
I am going to get my list going. I think I will post it in the side bar of my blog....as a reminder of all the things that I want to do in life. Once again I have been reminded of the frailty of life...it is short.....go live it!

Taking a chance....

2009-04-16T19:53:00.000-07:00

I have thrown caution to the wind. I have made a decision that will alter my path in life. I have given notice at my job, with a company I have been with for 10 years, to go into the unknown (well kinda known) and go to Istanbul Turkey and stay with my little sister for a few months. I look forward to the new things I will be learning and the excitement of learning a whole different culture. I will also have the opportunity to travel in Europe which is a dream of mine. Anybody that has followed my blog knows that my word for the year is "Discover". Well that is what I am doing. I still have a month to go at my job but soon enough.....

Life again

2009-04-15T20:59:00.000-07:00

Many things are racing through my mind these days....decisions to be made, art to be created, class handouts to be made for my first upcoming teaching gig. LOL...when I think about it....I never do anything small. I always go for the big dreams first and I have been very fortunate in my life that things have turned out for me. I am hoping that that trend continues. This weekend will be a whirlwind of cleaning and creating. I plan on posting some pictures after then. Tune in on Sunday as I will be posting some pics of some of my creations.

Time Flies....

2009-04-09T08:26:00.000-07:00

Do you ever wonder where the time goes? How days, weeks and months seem to go by and all of a sudden you realize....where did the time go? What have I been doing? I know it's been a few weeks since I posted here and I have been told...LOL...not so gently that I need to get on the ball. My life seems to be a whirlwind of activity yet I seem to accomplish nothing that I want to. I only have 3 weeks before I leave for Art & Soul and I am not anywhere near ready! I will be gone this weekend to California and then I only have 2 weekends left! There are just so many things going on in my life that it is hard to keep on top of all of them. I need to take control of my time and manage it, not have it manage me. Anybody else feel like that? Have some good advice on how to do that?

City Girl or Country Girl....I can't decide...

2009-03-24T11:11:00.001-07:00

Can I be both? I love being in the city, but I also love being in the country. This past weekend I went to Vermont again. Yes, I am becoming quite the traveler these days.... I went out and took pictures again. Each time I go there, I find someplace new, or something new that I like and I have to stop. This time I saw this wall with the opening and the water running through...It was just so beautiful!

So, I made my way from the road down to the stream and hopped from rock to rock taking pictures. Thank god for waterproof boots! I love water....it reminds me of when I was a kid and me and my little sister would always play in the streams whenever we could find them.

If my boots had been higher I would have walked underneath this bridge to the other side! But the water was freezing and I had no desire to get wet.

Of course, whenever I take pictures, I always look for some locals. I am a big fan of these locals. Horses have such a pull for me. It made me want to pack up and move to the country so I could have a horse again. Don't you wish you could live anywhere you wanted but be able to make a decent living? I do....
And one of my favorite things is to see the maple trees with the sap buckets in them. On every roads you will see lots of these buckets hanging from the trees.

And from these trees comes some of the best maple syrup ever! Love it. But now I am back to the city...where convenience is the thing...it's all about the quickest way, the cheapest deal....and I think as I get older....that is becoming less important....I kinda like the slower pace these days....I guess when you define a "decent living" it is all about perspective....

Vintage or not????

2009-03-11T16:19:00.000-07:00

So the other day I was dragged to the antique store by Jennifer. And while I was there I spied this lovely little purse. I feel in love with the seed beads on it. They are faceted which I find unique.

The lady that had the booth told me that the purse was from around 1910. The price was good enough that I bought it and I am going to use these in some new piece of jewelry. But what I want to know is....Is there a way to tell when beads were made? There has got to be a way to tell how old they are. I don't want to lie and say Vintage seed beads when they could have been only 10 years old. Anybody know the answer....let me know. All I know is that I loved the color and and how they are faceted.

Ok...UPDATE...on my search for more info, I found a similar beaded purse at this website. Here is a picture of it. Kinda similar right? Same shape/design. This one is in way better shape though obviously. I also learn the difference between Vintage and Antique. So assuming that my purse is from the same era, they would be antique seed beads. Awesome!

I will leave you with another picture I took this morning...It was too cool not to stop. It was the Moon setting into the mountains....I always see the sun....but it was a rare treat to see the moon clear and bright slowing moving behind the mountains....

Art & Soul Virginia 2009 is coming soon

2009-03-10T13:53:00.000-07:00

I am starting to get excited about my first teaching gig at Art & Soul in May! I will be teaching how to make flowers like these. I have some fresh new ideas as to what you can do with them. I have an urge to go home and start creating again...which has been on the back burner for a while now.
I made me a flower just recently with my word for the year. I have yet to finish how I want to wear it, but I am going to finish by this weekend....that is my plan. I need to stick to my plan! I will also be selling my art at Vendor night while I am there. Stop by and say hi if you are attending. I always love to meet my fellow bloggers. I have met so many wonderful people through this blog.

Joie de vivre

2009-03-05T20:49:00.000-08:00

Joie de vivre...Here is what Wikipedia describes it as...

Joie de vivre (from the French joie, "joy"; de, "of"; vivre, "to live, living"; "the joy of living") is a term sometimes imported into English to express a cheerful enjoyment of life; an exultation of spirit. Joie de vivre, In English common usage, the phrase is sometimes corrupted to joie de vie. [2] This would translate to "joy of life" or "zest for life," rather than the more affirmative "joy of living."

It's funny how when you decide to let yourself stop feeling self conscious and worrying about what others think your attitude changes and when your attitude changes and it's positive, people are drawn to you. It doesn't matter what you look like, it's about who you are as a person. I was telling my ex tonight that I was full of "Joie de vie"...and that I was attracting all kinds of people to me. LOL...maybe I wanted him to be a little jealous so for his benefit I said men!...LOL For the last 2 days I have been laughing and flirting and living my life and just enjoying the company of others. And the thing is...when you are having this much fun and put off this energy, people want to be around you. It's crazy! So why oh why can't I just make myself that happy all the time!!! Why do I have these periods of self doubt? Why do I get so insecure? Why can't it be turned on like a light switch? Hey...I need positive things in my life...click....it's on! I guess life would be too easy that way. You have to struggle through the rough times to appreciate the good times. So right now....I am living for me....just me and I have felt like a weight has lifted off my shoulders. I feel free and alive...ready to discover...

2009-03-02T15:32:00.000-08:00

It always amazing to me that when I pour my heart out here on my blog and I think there is no end to my dark tunnel… That my fellow bloggers always make me feel so much better. They understand the feelings I go through…that I am not just some whack job who is totally crazy. They make me see the daylight at the end of the tunnel. I have started to seriously think about plans, options and such and I have made inquiries into my options. I am looking at doing things just for me. What Cindy wants to do…and I am starting to feel a sense of relief. A sense of….whatever happens will be a learning experience and I will be OK no matter what. The wind will take me and I will just let it guide me….if things are meant to be…then they are meant to be…

What happens to plans?

2009-03-01T17:25:00.000-08:00

8 Months ago, my life was turned upside down...due to my marriage crumbling before my very eyes... At that time I knew I would be ok because I knew that in general, I can deal with anything. I have before and I have come out better for it. And I am ok...but I am not...oh what is the word I am looking for...full of life! I am missing something....I feel empty...I have a sense of wanting to run away from life....and do what I want to do...Is that wrong?I pretty much had my life laid out...I knew that certain things would never be because of who I was with and I was ok with that. I had made that choice 17 years prior. But now...I don't know what I want to do with my life. I am looking down the long road and saying...what do you really want Cindy? The possibilities are endless. But at the same time, I do have responsibilities, and love and kids... I feel like I need to start a new plan...I am just an emotional mess because I feel trapped by my need to not be like my father and to do the right and responsible things in life when all I really want to do is run and be free...free to do what Cindy wants, free to discover new things in life, free of feeling like this. I married for the first time when I was 17. I have never had a time in my life when I did things just for me. Now that my daughter is about to graduate from High School, and I am no longer "married" (not that the divorce is final yet) I want to do things for me. I am just so conflicted over this. Do I need a plan? My sisters are probably thinking...when has she ever had a plan! LOL But little do they know that I always think about all the possible outcomes of my actions. And I always have a plan B or a plan C in case things don't work out like I want...which has happened on many occasions. I am good at going with the flow and changing mid route because I have always thought about the different outcomes. But maybe, just maybe...I should just go wherever the wind blows me....seize the opportunities that are placed before me....and see where they lead me instead of me trying to control where they go... As I wrote that I thought of this piece of art I created awhile ago... Maybe I should take Mark Twain's advice....

What has Cindy been up to...

2009-02-25T20:25:00.000-08:00

For the last month or so, I have been learning all about the K9 world. Look at how cute this little thing is! But they don't stay so sweet and cute that long.... They come out like this...

It has been a very interesting experience for me. This week, I helped with the Vendor booth at the Law Dog conference here in Las Vegas. What an eye opening experience. I got to listen to police tell their stories of crime fighting...especially the drug scene which the K9's are used for. A whole world out there that I knew nothing about...but now I know just a little bit more.... I am making good on my word for the year....remember? It was Discover. And that is what I am doing. I am open to all things that come into my world these days. Who knows...maybe it will lead me to great things, maybe it won't but...I will be able to say that I was open to new ideas, news adventures, new people and new things. For now...I am just enjoying the ride.... I will be getting back on the artistic band wagon again soon. I had fallen off for awhile so it's time to hop back on. I am thinking of my next submission pieces for Belle Armoire Jewelry and I am also going to work on other things as well. So hopefully I will have some art pictures up soon.

Hagia Sophia

2009-02-20T11:21:00.000-08:00

What an incredible place this is. The mosaics are the most amazing things. It is a must see if you ever go to Istanbul. As I was waiting for Sandy & Gulden in line, I took a picture of this house across the street from the Hagia Sophia. I could live here...LOL I just love it.So here is what Wikipedia says about the Hagia Sophia:

Hagia Sophia (Turkish: Ayasofya, from the Greek: Αγία Σοφία, "Holy Wisdom"; Latin: Sancta Sophia or Sancta Sapientia) is a former patriarchal basilica, later a mosque, now a museum in Istanbul, Turkey. Famous in particular for its massive dome, it is considered the epitome of Byzantine architecture. It was the largest cathedral in the world for nearly a thousand years, until the completion of the Seville Cathedral in 1520. The current building was originally constructed as a church between A.D. 532 and 537 on the orders of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian, and was in fact the third Church of the Holy Wisdom to occupy the site (the previous two had both been destroyed by riots). It was designed by two architects, Isidore of Miletus and Anthemius of Tralles. The Church contained a large collection of holy relics and featured, among other things, a 50 foot (15 m) silver iconostasis. It was the patriarchal church of the Patriarch of Constantinople and the religious focal point of the Eastern Orthodox Church for nearly 1000 years.
In 1453, Constantinople was conquered by the Ottoman Turks and Sultan Mehmed II ordered the building to be converted into a mosque.[1]. The bells, altar, iconostasis, and sacrificial vessels were removed, and many of the mosaics were eventually plastered over. The Islamic features — such as the mihrab, the minbar, and the four minarets outside — were added over the course of its history under the Ottomans. It remained as a mosque until 1935, when it was converted into a museum by the Republic of Turkey.
For almost 500 years the principal mosque of Istanbul, Hagia Sophia served as a model for many of the Ottoman mosques such as the Sultan Ahmed Mosque (Blue Mosque of Istanbul), the Şehzade Mosque, the Süleymaniye Mosque, and the Rüstem Pasha Mosque.

Istanbul continued....

2009-02-18T15:52:00.000-08:00

So as we left the Blue Mosque I had to take a picture of this tree. I loved it. I wanted to climb it actually! Remember when you were a kid and a tree like this was just a screaming invitation to climb it? As we walked back out the gates, I saw this gentleman selling Simet. A Turkish Bagel of sorts. When Sandy's in laws were over for dinner, they kept saying Simet to Gulden's baby who had a round shaped toy. I guess they normally carry the Simet on a board over their head and yell out Simet. So she would put the toy on her head when they said Simet....it was very cute. So I had to take a picture of this guy.As we walked to the Cisterns...we passed this little temple thing. I have no idea what it was called but I thought it was pretty cool.

Inside the ceiling was spectacular.
On to the Basilica Cistern. I will let you read the explanation....
It was really hard to capture the awesomeness of this place. But here is a try.

That is it for now....My next post will be about the Hagia Sophia...

The adventure continues...

2009-02-15T10:58:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the commercial break. I have been sick AGAIN. Traveling and being tired got to me I guess and I came down with whatever is going around here but I am feeling better and here is my continuation of my Istanbul trip.

So the next day was pretty much meetings and such. My sister and I did go out for Chinese for dinner. Yes I said Chinese...LOL It was pretty damn good too. I had fried ice cream for the first time and it was the best dessert ever! Anyways, on my last day there we went sightseeing. I am going to break this day down into a number of posts as I took so many pictures that I want to share. So here it goes.

As we started out our sightseeing day, they took me on the ferry to cross the Bosporus to the other side of Istanbul. A few of the locals decided to ride instead of fly over.

The views were incredibleOur first stop for the day was the spice market area. This is where the bead shops where and I had asked Sandy to take me too as I wanted to get some evil eye beads. I just love this window. It is one of the first things that caught my eye. The next thing was this. This little tiny cat in the left hand corner...smaller that the big huge seagull it was preying on. I don't know maybe the seagull was thinking that it had lunch too...LOLI just loved the atmosphere of this place. Everybody selling their wares, some just had little wheelbarrows as their set up.The fruits and vegetables in Turkey are the most incredible tasting ever. It was really more than just a spice market. But spices they did have....Everything you could imagine...they have...I just loved how they piled the stuff. And I couldn't resist taking a picture of Turkish Viagra. LOL I wonder if it works???If I lived in Istanbul, I would go here to go shopping...this open air market. They even had fish.There was so much going on that its almost too much to take in. As we made our way in further to find the bead stores, it got much more crowded. So many shops....All kinds of things like these Copper pans....You could find anything there. I ended up buying nuts, Turkish delight, mint tea, and a few various other little things before we made it to the bead store. I found my evil eye beads and misc other things and we were done here. Our next stop was the Blue Mosque

Here is Sandy and I standing at the door leading to the courtyard. That is about as far as we got as they close it at certain times of the day and we just missed getting in by a minute. Too much dilly dallying around. It is the second time that has happened to me. On my first trip to Turkey, we arrived just as they were closing too. Maybe next time it will be 3rd times the charm. But don't feel sad for me as I still went to see the Basilica Cisterns, Hagia Sophia & Topkapi Palace. Yes...all in one day we did this. These will be my next posts. Stay tuned....

And the winner is...

2009-02-13T08:24:00.001-08:00

dreameyce said...
This necklace reminds me of beach trips with my Gramma. I'd love to win it! It looks like something she would have made herself :) Thanks for offering this :) The winner will be VERY lucky!I'm giving away an otter pin for OWOH, feel free to enter! :) My blog is http://www.dreameyce.com/blog
January 30, 2009 7:15 PM

Sorry I didn't get to this until now...I am sick once again....

Hosgeldiniz

2009-02-09T19:53:00.000-08:00

Hosgeldiniz is the Turkish word for Welcome. Every where you go that is what they say to you. And let me say....I felt very welcome. On the first day of my arrival, my sister and her husband picked me up and then took me to their apartment. Here is a view out their window.We then went shopping and bought food for dinner that night. They had Cengiz's family come over. There were 15 people who came over! It was an interesting night....sitting there, listening to all of them talking Turkish and some of it being translated to me by Sandy or Cengiz. If I go back again...I will have to take some lessons in Turkish! I don't like not knowing what is going on...LOL. It was a very nice evening and by the end of it....I was beat! So off to bed I went.

The next day, I was taken to the place of the business I am helping with. I learned all about the operation and we spent most of the day there. During our time there, we met a few of the locals

This one found a loaf of bread some where and was holding it in his mouth while barking at some dogs down the road. Too funny.During our time at the house, Sandy and I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. The area was beautiful. I fell in love with the look of this house.

And we talked with some of the residents of the place...

The country side was beautiful. I love all the stone walls and gates that they have...

Even the graffiti is pretty...

After we left the countryside, we went to dinner where I had the most amazing fruits and vegetables. I love love love the fruits and vegetables and bread in Turkey. I could become a vegetarian there...LOL We ended up staying at dinner until the place closed down. Good food, good conversation....it was a great day. On my next post, I will post my pics from our sightseeing day.... What an incredible city Istanbul is....

The journey begins...

2009-02-07T16:55:00.000-08:00

The start of my journey began at the Las Vegas airport. I was sitting waiting for my plane when Louie Anderson the comedian, asked me if anyone was sitting in the space across from me. I said nope…all yours. And then he proceeded to talk to me for awhile. He is as funny in person as he is on stage. Very quick witted. While we were sitting there he got a phone call and was on that call when a lady came up to him with her camera and started talking to him. She didn’t even care that he was on the phone. He told whomever he was talking to to hold on and than the lady asked me to take a picture of them together. I looked at him for the nod of approval which he gave to me with a smile. What a nice guy. He then talked to me a little while longer and then proceeded to get on the airplane. Of course he was in First Class and me….I was at the end….last class…LOL As I got on the plane and past him in his seat, he yelled back to me….have a great time in Turkey… I knew it was going to be the start of a good trip. And no I didn’t ask him if I could take my picture with him. I so didn’t want to be like that other lady…
So next, I landed in New York City and our plane was early. Excellent….see…good things just keep coming. Ed took me out to a nice Italian restaurant. We had a nice conversation and a wonderful dinner. The next day, he drove me around NYC, showing me different parts of the City. It’s such an exciting city. I just love the buildings and such. I could have taken a zillion pictures of all the buildings and windows. I think I need to try and incorporate them into my art somehow. Maybe someday soon. Then it was time to take me back to the airport to get on my plane to Turkey….A 10 hour flight….

to be continued....

2009-01-29T14:31:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow I start my journey to go to Istanbul to see my little sister Sandy. Here is a picture from when we were little.My first stop is NYC to stay with my love and then Saturday back to the airport and back on the plane for a 10 hour flight. I so dread that but I am excited to get to go see Sammy! That is my nickname for my little sister. Don’t ask where I came up with it…it just came. And in response she started calling me Cimmy. Cindy & Sandy, Sammy & Cimmy. I guess it goes yes? LOL I feel very blessed in my life for the bonds that I have with my sisters. We have had spats and fights like any siblings, but as we get older we all grow closer and let all the petty stuff slip away…well most of the time anyways…LOL. My last trip to Turkey was a turning point in my life when I decided not to be afraid to travel. Before that trip, I swore that I would never leave the USA. That there was nothing outside the US that I wanted to see or needed to see and I HATED to fly. My sisters FINALLY convinced me to take the trip…and I had the best time ever. Now I am a traveling fool! Everywhere I go now…I go with an open mind and if I get all stressed, I remind myself to go with the flow because you never know what can come of a wrong turn…It can actually turn out to be a good thing… So here’s to taking what comes and living life….and...discovering....my word for the year.

Today

2009-01-20T13:07:00.001-08:00

Hiding…..that is what I feel like I have been doing lately….hiding from the world. This picture was taken on my trip to Turkey in 2006 by my brother in law….it was first thing in the morning and I did NOT want my picture taken! LOL But it was a good representation of the way I have been as of late. I have kept to myself and very few people. I have not been very creative lately and have had no desire to be. But today…today was the first day in awhile where I had a creative vision of something I want to create. Today I feel energized, and I want to go home and get my room ready for a major creation spree. Today I will take my first steps towards my goals I listed in a previous blog. Today is the day that I open my eyes again and start discovering the world again….

One World One Heart Giveaway

2009-01-20T07:33:00.000-08:00

I am doing the One World~One Heart giveaway again this year. If you click on the picture above you can learn more about the event. Last year was my first year to join and it was a very wonderful experience. My piece was even featured in Artful Blogging magazine about the event. I made many many new blog friends and it opened my world up to new possibilities & new beginnings. I am a little late starting but as they say...better late than never.

Below is my giveaway. It is a piece I made for the souvenir spoon article in Belle Armoire Jewelry but it didn't make it in the article. It is made with seed beads, a souvenir spoon, a small shell that I gathered from the beach with my grandmother as a little girl and a pearl. Don't worry, I have many more shells from that time with my grandmother.

My giveaway is open to all. If you like this, then leave me a comment and you name will go into a drawing that ends on February 12th. Good luck and thanks for stopping by.

Istanbul here I come....

2009-01-14T15:34:00.001-08:00

I am going to Turkey at the end of this month to visit my sister. Last minute deal but I am very excited! This time I will have my own camera! When I went last time, my camera died right before we got on the plane to leave. I wanted to cry. I made my brother in law take all kinds of pictures for me, but it still isn't the same. And this time I will be getting pictures of Istanbul. I keep telling my little sister that she needs to take pics of her office and house so the family can see it all. She even bought a camera here in Las Vegas....ummmm has she posted to her blog any photos from that great little camera??? Ummmmm that would be a NO. LOL...Sammy you have been called out.... I don't know if I will be able to post while in Turkey but I will try.

Art Journal Page Jan 12th 2009

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Art Journal Page Jan 11th 2009

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Art Journal Page Jan 10th 2009

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Art Journal Page Jan 8th 2009

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Art Journal Page Jan 7th 2009

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Discover

2009-01-07T11:29:00.000-08:00

As I drove to work this morning, I was thinking about my current long distance relationship and how being in it has forced me to change some of my ways. It is getting tougher and tougher to be without him in my daily life. When we are together it is so great, but then when I come home or he goes home I go into this emotional crash. It has forced me to really think about how I react to certain things and if it is really worth getting mad or upset over and if I really want to spend the time that I do have talking or being with him, sulking, or arguing or being mad.... It has made me be more direct in my feelings and communications. So as I was thinking, I realized that I am discovering new things all the time about how to deal with this situation. And that's when it hit me... Discover. That would be my one word for the year. I have read on Nina's and Stephanie Lee's blogs about their one word and it struck a chord with me and I have been trying to figure out just one word that would work for me.

dis·cover (di skuv′ər)
1. to be the first to find out, see, or know about
2. to find out; learn of the existence of; realize
3. to be the first nonnative person to find, come to, or see (a continent, river, etc.)
4. to bring to prominence; make famous
5. a. to reveal; disclose; expose
b. to uncover

I like this word. Discover...it can be used in all parts of my life. In love, in creating, at home, at work or about myself. That is what this year will be about...discovering....

Life is funny...

2009-01-04T16:37:00.000-08:00

So today, I will not be posting my pic of my art journal as I didn't get a chance to take a pic and load onto my laptop. I aam writing this post as I sit in the airport waiting for my plane. I had a fantasic New Years with my love. We spent the weekend at his house in Vermont where I visited some of the locals again. Some old...

Some new...The deer ran across the road and stopped. I made Ed stop the truck and I got out and walked up to the fence. She just stood there and I took her picture and talked to her for a minute before she decided I was pretty boring and trotted off...

But as I was taking pictures in the great white north, I started to think about my goals for the coming year and then I started to think about the beginning of last year and how far I have come, where I have been, and where I thought I was going. Some of my goals I achieved, some I exceeded, and some I failed miserably. You can plan and plan and then life throws you a curve ball and all those plans you had go straight to the garbage can. Sometimes we don't understand why or will we ever, but I for one believe that everything happens for a reason. I for one am happier at the end of this year than I was at the beginning, even though in the middle of it...my marriage of 16 years ended... I have found a love that is so wonderful that I sometimes think this can't be real. Someone who loves me just the way I am.

This next year I believe will be even better than this one. I have much to look forward to. My teaching at Art & Soul in May, My daughter graduating from High School in June and many trips with the love of my life. Some of my goals for this year are:

1. Get published in Somerset Studio. That means I have to create mixed media art more and less jewelry.

2. Purge some of my art supplies! I have too much stuff!

3. Blog more often than the last half of this year...maybe even get published in Artful Blogging. How cool would that be?

I have other goals but I will not list them for the world to see as I have learned my lesson on sharing everything....sometimes it can bite you in the ass!

Here's to a fresh start and I am gonna get back on the swing and see how high I can go!

Art Journal Page Jan 2 2009

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Art Journal Page Jan 1 2009

2009-01-02T14:33:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year 2009

2009-01-01T20:21:00.000-08:00

So, I am not posting my journal page until tomorrow. It is late here in the frickin cold, snowy land of Vermont! Holy crap....I had forgotten what cold was. Living in Las Vegas gives you a warped sense of hot and cold! I will also post my list of goals for this coming year. I know that making this list helps me focus on what is important to me and helps me to accomplish them. No resolutions....just goals. I am glad to have a fresh new year to start....Don't you just love new things? New Year....fresh new clean piece of paper to turn into something artistic???

Happy New Year to all!

SF Part 2

2008-12-30T14:41:00.000-08:00

Ok....so when I last left off....we left China town and headed to our hotel. When we got off the Trolley...the hotel was right there! How happy was that? That is when I thought about how independent I am and how I am not afraid of trying new things or seeing new places. So we checked in and went to Fisherman's Wharf. Here are some things we saw...

Alcatraz...from a distance...

The best bread company....yummy....you should have smelled it....

They made sourdough bread into things like crabs and alligators. So cute!

And of course we had to talk with some more locals. This guy was kind loud but we listened to what he had to say. Afterwards, we got ourselves some fresh crab, and went back to our room and ate! Yummy. The next day we headed back to the SF Center and went shopping. Then back to the airport and back home. Here is one of my favorite pictures...I just love the door leading to paths unknown. I think I am going to be opening a few more of these this coming year....

Well, tomorrow I am off to NYC to see my love and have a very Happy New Year! I have decided to do Misty Mawn's challenge for a daily art journal for January. I need something to get me creative again... I need someone to hold me accountable so if I don't post a pic for the day of my journal page yell at me! LOL

Stuff

2008-12-26T16:41:00.000-08:00

There has been quite a bunch of snow here in Vegas lately....No this picture was not taken in Las Vegas, but up at Mount Charleston where they have had a few feet of snow in the past few weeks. We went up there last weekend and I snapped this picture of Megan and her boyfriend Jack. It was fun playing in the snow. I had never been up to Mt. Charleston when there was snow. Can you believe that I have lived here for 13 years and never once went up there... It is only a 40 minute drive. It's funny how life just passes you by if you let it. I am choosing not to let it anymore. Life is meant to live, not just sit on the sidelines and watch it roll past. I suppose that is why I have not been as active on my blog lately. I have been too busy with life at the moment. Being "in love" has kept me very very busy. I will be thinking of my goals for this coming year and posting them here. This past year has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. Even with all the bad stuff...I wouldn't change a thing. I am enjoying the ride....

Self Honesty

2008-12-19T05:51:00.000-08:00

Last night during a conversation I was told that even 20 years ago, I have always been strong, independent and a risk taker. Every time I am told that I tend to shrug it off as if they didn't know what was really inside me, they didn't know the "real" me. But maybe they knew me better than I did. The other day, my ex had to go help his girlfriends daughter out of the snow. He ended up taking the truck, so Megan was with out a vehicle for a day. I was irritated. In being honest with myself, I was annoyed because he had to go play the "hero". Had to rescue the damsel in distress. And I guess in the end, that is why our marriage ended. Because I didn't "need" him. And that is what he "needs". And that brought me to my realization...my self honesty...and trust me...it's not an easy pill to swallow. Way back when....I "dumbed myself down" to get a man. There, I said it. I played the helpless female that I so despise these days. And in reflecting, I see how many problems it caused in our marriage. We always fought about my ambition, my drive to be better, to do more. But now...I don't have to do that anymore. I am free to be me. Who I really am. And if men or anyone else is afraid of that...then I don't need them. And if someone asks "Who does she think she is?" I will tell them...I am Cindy Dean! I am strong, proud, independent and a free spirit....take me as I am....

From my perspective…

2008-12-15T14:48:00.000-08:00

This past weekend…Jennifer and I were spontaneous…we hopped on a plane and went to San Francisco. No plans…just hotel reservations…and no idea how we were going to get to the hotel once we got there. As with all my trips recently, there seems to be something that I realize while I am on them. This time…I rediscovered that I am a risk taker…I am not afraid of new things. I am independent. I am strong. Who needs men??? LOL In my daily job, I work in a world of old school men. Men who view women as the weaker sex. I am constantly barraged with all the male chauvinistic bullshit and sometimes I tend to forget that I am not “just” a woman. I struggle with this issue on a constant basis. I go between, why do I struggle to get to the top when if I put my efforts into something else in a different field, I could get so much further…to…it’s a great job…just learn to shut your mouth and take the money and run. That is my problem I think these days….I am struggling with this once again…obviously I have not worked out my issues. But I have run off on a tangent…back to the trip… Ok…first off….Jennifer screwed us all up by ASSuming that the flight was leaving out of the C gates…LOL So we went all the way there and then looked at the departure board and what did we find??? That the plane was leaving from the B gates. LOL So…back through security we went. And let me tell ya…Jennifer is the slowest person I know. She likes to call it relaxed, but damn girl…put a snap in your step!! So anyways, when we arrived at the airport, we decided to ride the BART. That is the train/subway/public transportation in SF. We didn’t know what the hell we were doing but someone gave us a little help and we were on our way. First stop…Union Square. Holy crap…big malls, big stores, big big big! While in Union Square, Jennifer proceeded to tell me all about a sign that had David Beckem’s package on it…right in front of a SF cop who proceeded to look at us like we were nuts! LOL Then Jennifer tells me it’s this way to Chinatown….it’s only up a HILL! So we walked UP to Chinatown…by the time we got there…my feet were killing me. So we decided to eat lunch. Yummy….We ate at the Cathey House. The Potstickers were huge! I even did the tea thing as I figured to live for the experience. We didn’t even eat all of our lunch as we were too full from the appetizers! Next we headed off to old St Mary’s Cathedral. What a beautiful church…and the windows were gorgeous. By this time…I had to do something about my shoes….so we got me a little pair of Chinese slippers. The best 3 bucks I spent! LOL Next stop...a small Chinese tea shop where the very nice gentleman taught us all about tea and how to make it.He was quite the character and told us all about how his wife loves Las Vegas-especially the Chippendale's! LOL Of course we ran into some locals. They were having quite the feast. I asked Jen if she wanted to join them but she said no...too full from lunch...LOL
We hit a few bead shops while there and of course I spent money...can't I just say no??? We decided that it was now time to start heading down to our hotel....but I will finish the rest of the story in my next post! Stay tuned...

Thoughts for the day...

2008-12-13T06:45:00.000-08:00

As I lay in bed this morning waiting for the alarm to go off...don't ask why I do that...I was thinking about my marriage. And I was thinking that it's only been 5 months since our split. Shouldn't I be feeling more than I am feeling about it? Shouldn't I feel sad? Shouldn't I feel regret for it's end? 18 years of togetherness...shouldn't it have been harder to dismiss the past from my life? If I don't feel all that...what does that mean? Was I just fooling myself all those years? When I think back and look for the good times together...the only ones that I remember the feeling of love for him are the ones before we got married. All the good times after the marriage involved the kids. I always thought I tried to make time for just us...but I guess it wasn't enough. Is that how it is? You have kids and then you forget about each other? I am thinking too much obviously...but that is how I get when I get in these moods...I over analyze. Then I start to think about my love now. How did I survive without it before? I tell him everything...probably more than he wants to hear...LOL. It feels like there was no 20 year gap. How did I survive all those years keeping all of myself in and not sharing...amazing differences. Night and Day.... I like how I feel now alot better....I feel like myself once again....

So today I am off on an adventure....stay tuned to see where I go...

2008-12-11T15:46:00.000-08:00

This is how I feel today…dark clouds hanging over my head…not quite dark enough for a thunderstorm, more like a drizzle (tears) and sadness…. I know what it is….yet there is nothing that can be done about it right now….only time…. I hate this kind of weather….but I know that the sun will come out tomorrow or the next day. Such is life…with its ups and downs. How would we know the good times if we didn’t experience the bad?

The day did not start off this way…I actually was thinking pretty positive. I was thinking about how far I have come and how when I set my mind to things, I can do anything. Nothing is impossible; you just have to try for it. I also thought about how much like my father I am. As much as I hate to admit that I am….When I achieve a certain level of success in my work and my art, I tend to get bored and start off onto something new even though I haven’t reached the top. I guess I decide that it is not really what I wanted after all….I am on a continual search for that elusive thing….that one thing that will hold my attention for a long time. Is it out there? Will I find my true calling? Or am I destined to search…maybe the searching is what I like….the discovery of new things…I don’t know…I feel lost right now…directionless….torn….I guess I am at a Y in the road…which way do I go????

Hollow-Empty-No Soul

2008-12-10T20:01:00.000-08:00

That is how I felt today...like I don't have a heart....no feelings....empty. Have you ever had days like that? I guess it might be the combination of still being sick and all the different medication I am taking. I just felt like I didn't have any compassion for anybody today and that is not like me. I just wanted to escape into my own shell and not care about anything or anybody. At some points I even took pleasure in someone Else's screw up. Sorry Jennifer...LOL...good thing you have tough skin. It's a very weird feeling to me, this not caring thing. Hopefully I will get some sleep and the regular Cindy will return....cause I sure don't want this one to stick around...I would have no friends left if she did! Well...Jennifer might stick around...she likes me even when I am a crank. So goodnight and here's to wishing for the nice Cindy to return....

P.S. I will create something this weekend...otherwise I might fade into oblivion...so stay tuned...

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth...

2008-12-08T07:21:00.000-08:00

I am just sick...I go to the Dr. today because it's not going away! Yucky...sniffle, sniffle.

Aruba Art

2008-12-02T06:19:00.000-08:00

So while I was sitting on the beach by our room on day, I decided to take the opportunity to create something. So here it is...
I used Pitt Pens to do this and I had limited colors, so I was pretty happy with the way this turned out since I had to be creative to get the different shades of color. I really think that this coming year I am going to focus on painting and drawing in my art...I really enjoy it. I think my favorite part is how it goes through it's ugly phase and you think oh this is gonna suck but the more you work at it and the more detail you add...the more beautiful it becomes...

Aruba...how beautiful it was...

2008-12-01T20:02:00.000-08:00

My trip to Aruba was incredible... On each trip I take, I try and take in as much as I can and I also end up learning more about myself in the process. The place we stayed at had the most beautiful views...

Here is the view from our room:

How can you not love that? Of course, when I go places I always check out the locals.

Some of them even remind me of things that I already know but sometimes forget... Like...it's ok to be alone...it gives you time to reflect and think...

And some remind me that it's ok to be different...to stand out in a crowd...be who you are...

Megan even got to touch one of these little guys. They were all over the place.

I also learned to accept the fact that I am forever the hopeless romantic no matter how old I am.

And I know....that I will always, always, no matter what happens with us in the future....love this man as he is my best friend...

I leave you with this beautiful picture taken on our last night there...kind of appropriate...Sailing off into the sunset....

And the winner is...

2008-12-01T19:57:00.000-08:00

Jamie said...
What a wonderful photo! I see the heart but I also look at this as two different trees standing tall -together! What a wonderful image. And how important it is for us to stop and really notice what is right in front of us. And I adore your giveaway flower.

That is what I saw in this picture...was the heart shining through the trees... Congrats Jamie!

It's Here!

2008-11-30T20:42:00.000-08:00

So I got my copy of Belle Armoire Jewelry Winter Issue when I got back from Aruba! More on Aruba later...And now I can post my pieces that were in this issue. I know...shameless self promotion but I am just so thrilled to have been chosen again. It is such an honor to be included in this magazine with so many talented people. Here is my Mexico Spoon. In the article, they didn't show the front of the spoon so I wanted to show the detail of what I saw in this spoon.

Then came the Chinese Pagoda spoon. This is what the whole thing looks like. They only shot bits & pieces of this for the article.

This has been an amazing journey this past year....now it's almost time to set new goals for next year. I have far exceeded what I had thought I could do at the beginning of this year. Next year I am going to take off in a different direction in my art and see what happens I think...

P.S. I will be drawing a winner for my blog contest tomorrow so stay tuned! There is still time to go leave a comment....Good Luck!

My new favorite song...

2008-11-20T17:17:00.000-08:00

Last night I happened to change the channel and I came upon Seal singing this song on Dr. Phil. I fell immediatly in love with it and downloaded it from iTunes and I have been listening to it all day.

A Change is Gonna Come

Click the link to see the video on YouTube

A Day of Sharing

2008-11-19T16:00:00.000-08:00

I happened upon this thru Catherine Witherells Blog and I thought I would join in to. LK Ludwig is the one hosting this event called A Day of Sharing. Mine isn't so much a poem but a song that I have been playing over an over...here it is...

If Today Was Your Last Day

My best friend gave me the best advice.
He said each day's a gift and not a given right.
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind,
and try to take the path less traveled by.
That first step you take is the longest stride.

If today was your last day,
and tomorrow was too late,
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
would you, would you?
Would you live each moment like your last?
and leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you have?
would you, would you?
If today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life.
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight.
Every second counts, cuz there's no second try.
So live it like you'll never live it twice.
Don't take the free ride in your own life.

If today was your last day, and tomorrow was too late,
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
would you, would you?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you have?
would you, would you?

Would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce on memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above, that you'd finally fall in love?
would you, would you?
If today was your last day?

If today was your last day,
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know, it's never too late to shoot for the stars,
regardless of who you are?
So do whatever it takes,
Cuz you can't rewind a moment in this life.
Let nothing stand in your way,
cuz the hands of time are never on your side.
If today was your last day?

By Nickelback

Blog Giveaway

2008-11-19T09:09:00.000-08:00

Below is a picture of one of my flowers. I will be giving away one that is similar to this one as no 2 are completely alike. All you have to do is look at the first picture of the tress from my "Have you ever..." post and comment on what you thought the trees were sharing with me. There is something very specific that I saw so lets see how many of you can see it too. I will pick the winner of the flower when I get back from Aruba on Nov 30th...so you have plenty of time to make your comments. Good luck!

Have you ever....

2008-11-17T16:14:00.000-08:00

Have you ever taken the road less traveled? I did recently and during it, I began to remember the things that are important in life. And just because it is a road less taken by you doesn't mean it's a road less taken by others. This is their main road and they take it every day. So what life is really all about is trying new things and going for what you want out of life. Here is a little bit of what I discovered when I took my journey down the road less traveled.

I remembered how much I love the sound of the wind thru the trees. How much I enjoy listening to it. Seeing it. Feeling it....there is nothing like it. And if you look and listen closely the trees may share something with you....

I remembered how much I love streams and rivers. They also teach you a lesson if your willing to pay attention...that no matter what obstacles are in the way...there is always a way around them...you just have to be willing to take a slight detour...I remembered how much I enjoy meeting the locals. Small towns are always so quaint. You might even run into the mayor.Oh and you will see the regular town folk...and some of them talk way more than others...Now some of them mind you may seem at bit different, but if you take the time to get to know them...they might just have an interesting story. And if you stick around long enough, they might warm up to you....
and they may even introduce you to their friends And then again....some of them are just plain...well I will be nice...I mean...come on people who hangs a teddy bear next to a clove of garlic????

I remembered that some things are worth the struggle. That if you keep moving in the direction that you want to go, eventually when you look back, you will see how far you have come and be amazed at the view.I remembered that sometimes, when you don't think that you can take any more and you have reached your limits...that there is beauty in the breaking because you open yourself up to being filled with something new...I remembered that there is beauty in all kinds of things if we are just open to seeing it.I remembered that no matter how dark the clouds may seem, there is always light shining through...if you just look for it....

And I was reminded that you have to pay attention, because if you judge to quickly, you might just miss all that someone has to offer....
So I think that I will be taking the road less traveled more often...because I like what I see when I do, I like how I feel when I do and because it makes me pay attention to the small things in life that can make such a big difference...

What is a friend?

2008-11-13T15:07:00.000-08:00

Friend (frěnd)

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile

What is your definition of a friend? I am learning that a friend doesn’t have to be someone that you hang around with all the time. That they can be in your life for short periods of time and that’s OK. To me, it’s about a feeling. A feeling of happiness they bring to my life. Or the support they offer in times of trouble. Today, during work, I had a visit from a co-worker that I do not get to see very often as we work for different entities within the organization. But every once in awhile we have a chance to interact. I have known this man for over 9 years. Now, this gentleman is quite the character. Every time I see him, we have many laughs, no matter what we are working on. He makes me laugh and I truly enjoy him as a person. It made me start to think about people in my life that make me feel that way and how very important they are even though we don’t see or talk to them on a daily or weekly basis. I have friends such as my friend Stephanie in South Dakota that I only email every once in awhile but as soon as we start corresponding we fall right back into that place we were when we worked together many years ago. I think about all my blog friends who make comments on my posts and offer me support during my times of struggle. Sometimes I struggle whether to tell such things but when I receive these comments and I know that there are people out there that do care…it makes the biggest difference in the world and I thank everyone for that. I like this feeling that I have in my heart when I think about the people that I have in my life. I think that I am going to look for more of that in my life. Look for the small things. The small joys. Not everything has to be a grand gesture to make a difference in a persons life. It’s the simple things…a smile, a gesture, a call, a email and even a comment….I am going to strive to do the little things...and maybe I will make someone feel like I have felt today...blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life.

Dreaming of Aruba

2008-11-13T14:06:00.000-08:00

Only 9 more days till we leave for Aruba. I am so looking forward to walking bare foot on the sand and taking pictures of the sunrises and sunsets. And I get to spend a whole week with the love of my life...

Feeling Melancholy

2008-11-12T10:19:00.000-08:00

mel·an·chol·y (měl'ən-kŏl'ē)

1. Sadness or depression of the spirits; gloom
2. Pensive reflection or contemplation.

This morning I woke up in this mood…I can’t really explain why. There has been so much going on in my life lately that sometimes it gets a bit overwhelming and I get into these moods more than I care to admit. I try so hard not to let others see my weakness…or what I call one of my weaknesses. Everyone always thinks I am this pillar of strength because on the outside, I can put on this show…as my sisters like to call it now, the “Cindy Show”. Only the people closest to me will really know when I am down or upset…well…maybe that’s not true…the people who piss me off will know too! LOL I am much more tolerant of stupid people when I am not “melancholy”.

At this moment in time…I could easily break down into tears if I let myself. I am trying to figure out where my sadness stems from…maybe today, maybe this week; I am still mourning the loss of my grandmother. Some people would wonder why this has affected me so much since she was not a big part of my life….but maybe I am mourning the loss of what could have been. As I listened to everyone at her funeral speak of her, I learned more about her. Learned that I did not know this side of her. That I had let me perception of her be governed by what my parents had said for many many years. But reading letters from my parents to my grandparents was eye opening. Now I have seen with my own eyes what my parents are really like...how dishonest and conniving they are. So, I guess I am just filled with regrets… I know I can not change the past, but I can still grieve over the loss of what could have been. I know that I will get past this as I have much to live for and a bright future ahead.

But for today….I am melancholy…..

Tagged...

2008-11-06T15:51:00.000-08:00

Yes, I have been tagged! I must share six quirky facts about myself and tag six of my blog friends. Thanks, Diana

Here are the official rules....
1. link to the person who tagged you
2. mention the rules
3. tell six quirky, yet boring, unspectacular details about yourself
4. tag six other bloggers by linking to them
5. go to each person's blog and leave a comment that lets them know they've been tagged

Here are the six people I tagged...

Nerissa
Rella
Tanya
Lori
Maija
Kerri

Here are my six quirky things:

1. I watch TV shows or play games on my iPod while laying in bed before I go to sleep at night. And no Ed….I will not get a TV in my bedroom! LOL

2. I love the Dr. Seuss version of Horton Hears A Who… “Boil that dust speck, boil that dust speck, boil, boil, boil….LOL

3. I will make sure I pass on the same side of a pole as the person I am walking with. It’s a superstition thing…don’t ask…

4. I love toys, games, bears, etc. I collect them all.

5. If I get hot in bed, I will put one foot out of the covers to cool off. Gotta keep the covers on…LOL…only one foot allowed out at a time.

6. I like the smell of horses…As Jen would say, the sweet stench of horse. LOL

Show & Tell

2008-11-06T08:25:00.000-08:00

Some of the pieces I submitted to Belle Armoire have been published in the Nov 1st issue of Belle Armoire and the Winter issue of Belle Armoire Jewelry. Since the Jewelry issue has not come out yet, I won't post those pictures to my blog, but I will post the pictures of how the pieces started and also some of the other finished pieces. I found souvenir spoons and decided that they would make great jewelry. Here is how the started.

Here is the necklace that made it into Belle Armoire.

And here are a pair of earrings that didn't make it in.
You can read more about how I made them in the Winter issue of Belle Armoire Jewelry. You will see what I did with the 2 middle spoons from the top picture.

What I Just Read

2008-11-05T06:48:00.000-08:00

I just read this book this past weekend. Have you ever read a book and just felt like it was just for you? That you were meant to read it? That is how I felt about this book. I know it's been out for a long time now, but everything in it was so relevant to me. I love how she is so honest with her feelings and writing her fears. How she questions things in life. She is brave... One of the things she wrote was this...

I'm afraid to show you who I really am, because if I show you who I really am, you might not like it---and that's all I've got.

Isn't that one of our biggest fears? Rejection? Especially as artists. We depend on people liking our work and liking us. I know that is the way I feel... So...I have decided that I am going to start "Spilling Open"...and learn the art of becoming me... Showing my true self...doubts, quirks, insecurities, strength, humor, contradictions and all...

2008-11-04T14:36:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning, my grandmother passed away. Yesterday, when I came to work, Jennifer had a gift for me. She did not know that my grandmother had passed when she handed me this bag. In it was this: I started crying as soon as I saw it because Jennifer knew the story behind this little egg cup. She knew my grandmother was sick and she wanted me to have something that would remind me of the good times with my grandmother. When I was little, I would be sent to my grandmothers for a few weeks in the summer. One of my favorite things was when she would get me breakfast. It would be a soft boiled egg, in a little egg cup. She always made me feel so grown up sitting at the table with my spoon in hand and this little egg cup in front of me. Isn’t it funny how it’s the little things that we remember? All of this stuff happening lately has reinforced my belief about what is important in life. I am blessed that I have 3 wonderful sisters and 1 brother and that we stick together through thick and thin….no matter what, we will always be there for each other. I am blessed to have wonderful children with who I have a great relationship with, and I have broken the dysfunctional cycle of our family with. I am blessed that I have such a wonderful friend who “gets” me and is always there for me. She is one of those lifetime friends, that no matter where in the world I am, I know we will always be connected. I am blessed that I have reconnected with a wonderful man who “gets” me. That I can be who I am, faults and all, who I trust so much that I have actually loosened my grip on having to be in control all the time.

I have stopped worrying about being hurt and I have just started loving more….

Living for Today

2008-10-30T07:23:00.000-07:00

Long distance relationships are hard. I find myself living in the future. Always looking forward to the next visit. Ok…1 day till I see him again, then 3 weeks till we go to Aruba, then Christmas…. And in always looking forward I seem to be missing the present. I am always saying, live for today so I am going to try and stop living in the future and live for today. I am going to enjoy whatever life brings me today. I am going to get my camera back out and I will be taking pictures of what life has to offer me today....I say....bring it on!